panic attacks...

Wow, had my first panic attack last night in about 4 years! In the world of panic attacks it was just a baby, but it still kicked my butt. I'm really feeling it today too. I feel like I got punched in the stomach and I started to get a migraine in my am class. Yuck. It's crazy that I vividly remember my first panic attack my freshmen year of college after my grandpa died. I had them for a good four years after that but I haven't had one since 2006 (when Charlie told me he was moving to D.C.). Then last night I really starting freaking out about my internship after getting an email from my stupid adviser. Ugh.
So the School of Social Work made this huge deal of how I had to have all my paperwork (application, resume, etc.) turned in February 1st for my internship so they could start looking for placements. Well my adviser just called me last week and was like "yeah, I don't have any leads!" Um, wtf?? I'm supposed to start May 24th and I still don't have anywhere to go. If it took this damn long why couldn't I have waited to find out where Adam was going to be (on Thursday btw) and just tried to get a placement with him? They said that was impossible. March 18th was WAY too long to wait to set up an internship...yet it's March 15th today and I don't even have so much as an interview lined up. My adviser gave in the other day and said that I could start looking in either St. Louis or Madison after we find out where Adam is going if I don't get any interviews in Springfield but it's getting really late in the game now. Plus, I was kind of already planning on being home for 6 months to finish planning the wedding. Grr, I do not like this stress. Plus trying to finish midterms and ginormous projects on top of all this crap.
I am only freaking out a little bit about Match day on Thursday. It will be a huge relief to finally find out where we are going to be for the next 3-6 years. On the other hand, life has been so easy between Adam and I for the last 3 months. We have been so happy and stress free (other than me at times, ha). I feel like as soon as we find out where we are going, the axe comes down and we will be trying to find a place to live and jumping into stress mode. Okay, I am seriously not helping my stress level today. I am supposed to working on a midterm while on break at school. The weird part is that I am sitting on the second floor of Espresso Royale right now on campus :)